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It’s OK To Not Care Why Someone Hurt You
Forgiveness has benefits, but if it isn’t possible, that’s fine too
We’ve all heard that ‘Hurt people hurt people’. We all know that forgiveness has its benefits, not just for the person who hurt us, but for ourselves too. By carrying around anger and pain around with us, we continue to upset ourselves, and if we know that someone was hurt themselves, then it enables us to feel empathy for them.
There is also a nobility, and a dignity in forgiving someone who has committed a terrible act against us. Have you ever watched the parent of a murdered child speak about forgiving their baby’s murderer, in spite of everything? It can leave you in a state of total awe. It’s inspirational, and to an extent, aspirational.
I wish I could be like those people, and perhaps in the future, I will be. I’ve spent plenty of time beating myself up for not being like that, and for not understanding it. As much as I wish I could let go of the pain others’ have caused, at the end of the day I also wish them pain. I understand that there are probably reasons why the people who assaulted me or creeped me out did so, and for some, it helps to look at it that way, but I see no purpose in that. The fact is, I don’t give a shit what might have happened to them to make them do these things. No matter how nuanced the issue, plenty of people are abused…
